I will be 31-years-old this April. You would think that would mean I’ve got my life figured out. Steady job, wife, house, kids on the way, etc. While I do have a steady job and I do have a girlfriend, I don’t feel anywhere close to feeling like I’ve got my life figured out. I used to think that was a problem. And that’s pretty much only because I kept telling myself that it was a problem.
It’s taken me this long in my life to realize the biggest obstacle any person has to overcome in their life is themselves. (Obviously I’m referring to us privileged ones over here in the developed Western World.) Lest you think this is turning into a new age blog about spirituality and finding yourself and all that, I’m simply writing about it because I’ve yet to meet a single person (out of those I know well) who has mastered the art of keeping themselves out of their own business. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, then you probably haven’t yet realized how you get in your own way.
Only you prevent yourself from being better at your job, admitting your job isn’t right for you, recognizing and embracing the best parts of your relationships, and from changing the way you do these things. In fact, you’re likely the cause of most of your own hang-ups and problems.
Sure, there’s alpha male types out there who “know what they want” and strive for success and money and everything we’re told will make us happy. They probably scoff at someone like me and I think I’m just a pussy who needs to get it together. But they’ll never understand where I’m coming from. They’re not self-aware enough to think that maybe they don’t have all the answers. They don’t stop to think about what they’re doing and why. They aren’t searching for the same kind of fulfillment.
The problem with being too self-aware, is that you start to over think aspect of your life until you can longer take any amount of joy out of it. Your job, your relationship, your friends, your family. Everything needs to be thought through and back again until it all feels wrong to you. By thinking too much, we stop ourselves from enjoying the living we’re supposed to be doing.
And here’s the part where I tell you the magical answer that will solve all your problems: there isn’t one. The only solution is to recognize when you’re getting in your own way. That’s really the only reason I’m writing this. It’s catharsis for me because I realized I’ve been actively trying to stop myself from changing in ways that’ll make me better. It feels good to write it down. But I’m still trying to stop myself from clicking “Publish.”